Dude. This was a day. I started today with a “chemo education” given by a sweet physician’s assistant at Salem Oncology. It was a LOT of information. And it wasn’t even fun. So today’s first tears were spilled after learning what all the poison I’ll be injected with could or would do.
Next, echocardiogram, which meant laying on incisions that are still healing. I soldiered on, but the morning had already worn me down. Called my mom to debrief the morning, and retelling it still felt overwhelming, so more tears.
Made an appointment to have my port put in (Sept 16), and this makes me anxious. It just does. The idea of it grosses me out. 🤭 Learned that in order to have insurance cover a “cranial prosthesis” (It’s a WIG for Pete’s sake) my doctor has to send a prescription to the wig shop that’s in- network. This was my first giggle of the day. 😆 While I’m on the phone confirming the start date of chemo (sept 25), there is massive thunder and downpour. Weather = mood. I’m mentally trying to prepare for my haircut this evening. 5 sweet souls volunteered to come with me for support and be my cheerleaders. 📣 I keep telling myself this is a makeover, not a punishment. I get in the chair and tell Lisa, my stylist, that no matter what my reaction is when she’s done, her work is always amazing. This just might take me awhile to get on board. I fall apart. Again. Immediately I’m surrounded by my support group, and before scissors are put to hair, they are praying over me and this is right. Exactly what I needed and exactly why they came. Also, my state fair award winning baker of a sister in law brought me lavender shortbread cookies. So prayer + cookies = feeling much better about this situation.
I don’t look in the mirror but judging by the reactions of my fans, things are going well. And getting shorter. And shorter. I hear that it’s pretty “BA”. I can tell they’re genuine. I’d know if they were just trying to be nice. 😏 But it was sounding successful. Jokes were cracked, and as worn down as I felt, I was able to loosen up a little and laugh. I’m soooo glad I didn’t come alone.
When Lisa spun the chair around I was not prepared for how much I like my new hair! Like, why didn’t I do this back in the Stillfire days?? It ended up being SUCH a great way to end the day. It truly was a makeover and not a punishment. Surrounded by friends and prayer. Truly, God has SHOWERED me with His love through other people. Like, constantly. As overwhelmed as I am by grief, He overwhelms me with Love. I’ll take every drop of it! 💞
