Using My Mess For His Message

It’s only January, but January is already wrapping up. How?! I entered this year “cautiously optimistic”. I’m not expecting this year to be better than the last two, but I am expecting God to do big things. These past several years have allowed me to grow a keen sense of His movement, particularly in the little things. Everywhere. All the time. The trick is focus and perspective. I don’t believe we were designed to know everything that’s happening in the whole world all the time. We can’t carry that load. The burden is huge, and if you haven’t looked around lately, it’s killing us. It’s noise and a smoke screen that pulls our focus to things we can’t control, and away from attainable joy. (Joy is different than happiness by the way, but that’s a post for another day.) I implore you to do your mental health, your family, and local community a favor and pour your focus, love and energy into them.

Surrender- Using my MESS for His MESSage

One of my favorite things Michelle Theilen, founder of ,YogaFaith has said that has stuck with me is that simple phrase. I’ve never met someone who’s journey has been completely linear. Have you? Life. Is. Messy. I have learned that trying to avoid pain and discomfort just leads to more pain and discomfort due to the desire to control outcomes. It turns out the messy stuff is the refining fire that polishes us up and prepares us to pour ourselves out to help other humans. When God allows us the opportunity to be His hands and feet, restoration happens for all involved.

Breast Cancer is one of the things on my resume. What’s on yours? That messy, painful experience that you learned so much from… Do you recognize the signs of a similar “mess” in someone else? Anxiety, addiction, loss, Seasonal Affective Disorder… Guess what? If it’s on your resume, that means YOU are the one who can connect at a level the rest of us can’t. And, you can do it while you are still figuring things out. It’s a matter of being who you wish you’d had earlier in the game. As Myquillin Smith Says: It doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.

Some examples of how my mess is shaping into something beautiful:

1) I’m helping my oncologist start and build a lending library full of the books I wished I’d had before I got sick. I’m a bookworm and have done (and continue to do) the legwork of finding useful books regarding getting back to physical, spiritual and emotional health, as well as nutrition, yoga, and even humor. I search for these books on Thriftbooks, Abebooks, local thrift shops and book stores so we can build this amazing resource right here.

2) I plan to work with the Salem Cancer Institute and my local hospital to offer yoga for survivors. I’m also toying with the idea of offering online classes and workshops. Because I know the importance of regaining range of motion after surgery, reducing stress from fear, and learning to feel our feels and process them rather than avoiding them, I’m able to offer a unique perspective and teaching style to a specific demographic.

3) During my YogaFaith Master/Level 1 Therapy training in July, I developed a very special kindred bond with 2 other survivors and we are in the brainstorming stages of cooking up a beautiful yoga retreat later this year. I am so excited and can’t wait to share details with you!!

These amazing ladies would’ve been my friends anyway, but now they are my heroes and we have a special bond we wouldn’t have known without our shared experience. And it’s a thing of beauty, I tell you!

3) Because other people who’ve been through breast cancer have given back in some of the most unique ways, I’ve discovered there is a local DRAGON BOAT TEAM called, The Unsinkables– made up of breast cancer survivors. I mean, come on! How cool is that? I’m still trying to figure out a way to connect with someone (pandemic and all that) about joining, but it’s part of my 2022 bucket list!

My path has taken some really interesting twists I never would’ve expected or could’ve hoped for. It continues to amaze me how God used this trauma to bring beauty for ashes. At rock-bottom, He proved faithful, never leaving or forsaking me. But now, 2 years later, STILL making Himself known in beautifully unexpected ways because of this one thing on my resume. I’m grateful.

I do not like cancer. But I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything.